Brides’ Gang: The Maid of Honor

You have probably been thinking about who your Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids would be even before you got into a relationship. Though now that is happening, I would suggest you think it through before asking anyone to share with you this unique journey.

Selecting the person(s) who will be by your side during your wedding planning, is not an easy task. They have to understand and respect your vision and wishes, after all, it is your day.

Let me walk you through the fundamentals so you can have some material to make your decision.

Difference between Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids

First things first, if you will recruit a team of bridesmaids please think that someone (other than you) has to manage the gang. Therefore, your Maid of Honor is your girl. The one that will take care of communicating your desires to the rest of the bridesmaids.

She is the one signing at City Hall and at the church during religious ceremonies. In some countries, you may need two witnesses for the civil ceremony, yet I would highly recommend only one at the main position.

Maid of Honor’s duties

The most important job of the Maid of Honor is to truly understand you. This means it has to be someone (girl or boy, it doesn’t really matter) that knows your tastes and gets the global idea of what you expect from your wedding day.

The Maid of Honor is the one organizing your bachelorette party and bridal shower (if you wish one, as it is not so common in Europe). Therefore, she or he should be at ease selecting the destination, the activities, and the participants.

Another significant duty is the wedding speech. The Maid of Honor or Man of Honor, for that matter, should be able to prepare a memorable one, without making you embarrassed or making it all about her/him (believe me, I have seen this before).

Your Maid of Honor should also be present during your wedding dress fitting. She should help you pick the one that is right for you if you have trouble deciding. The same applies to table decoration, flowers, accessories, and any other detail you need assistance with.

In case you do not hire a wedding planner, the Maid of Honor should be there to help you with all the details mentioned above and more. You may need her assistance, as well as the bridesmaids, to prepare the invitations, follow up with the guests, organize the set-up of decoration, and so forth. The bigger your wedding is, the more tasks and responsibilities your bride’s team will have.

Maid of Honor’s personality

This is when the selection gets real. The person you choose should be someone who will be able to commit to the pre-wedding’s events and activities. Therefore, when asking the “chosen” to discuss your expectations, try to be honest and transparent. If she or he travels frequently or has a busy schedule, maybe it is not the one.

Another personality trait should be management and organization skills. As I said before, the Maid of Honor will be in charge of the bachelorette party and bridal shower planning. These types of events, especially the bachelorette party which normally includes traveling, need to be prepared in advance and cannot be handled last minute.

I will also include honesty in the list. Your MOH should be transparent with you and feel comfortable telling you when you may be doing a mistake. There is obviously some element of your receptivity to criticism here, but your MOH must know you well enough to tell you the truth.

The last one (for now), is handling stress. If something goes wrong on your wedding day, you will appreciate having by your side someone calm and who will be able to make last-minute decisions on your behalf.

I could ramble on and on about the perfect Maid of Honor or Man of Honor, but I think you got it. Always follow your heart. It knows already whom you need to choose.